I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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