Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
