M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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