I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
