if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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