is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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