His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
