I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
