Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
