Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry suck_on_my_ hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

Fav 7 952 1750
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

Fav 11 3215 1033
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

Fav 34 4028 2027
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

Fav 30 1868 4041
share tweet
(347): View more from New York

I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

(347): View more from New York

I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

Fav 41 11815 2667
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..

Fav 12 2513 1171
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

Fav 6 930 1843
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

what type of emt are you

Fav 4 1759 983
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Legitimately*

(713): View more from Texas

Go fuck yourself

Fav 0 60 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT