Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
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