She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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