Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
