Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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