Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
