apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i will never coherently bang her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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