i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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