porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize