What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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