There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
