I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's the barista slut.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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