guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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