it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Enjoy the penises
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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