I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
