Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
