Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
