I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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