Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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