She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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