you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Randomize
