Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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