I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
