he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
