wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
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He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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