you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
