i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
