shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
