if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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