i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
