This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
two words...techno handjob
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
