You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
