Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
