Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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