Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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