Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
