you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hippo gnu deer
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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