I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
