Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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