$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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