oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
