He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
