When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
